The Snake and the Slut
by Lixie Lorn
Summary: An OrochimaruXOCSelfinsert because my friends like the idea. Not a oneshot because the idea grew. M because of lemons from the word go. XD Is the same world as Tale of Three Kunoichi, and they affect each other, but you'll be fine not knowing both. Enjoy!
1. Tongues, Trust and Treachery

_Well, now you've done it. I'm writing self insert lemons. CURSE YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS, Thorn and Lust! CURSE YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME._

Disclaimer-Dun't own Naruto, just OC's and AU elements.

The Snake and the Slut  
Chapter 1-Tongues, Trust and Treachery

* * *  
_Some point before the Chunin Exam arc, AU  
_* * *

Sasekomaru was stalking stealthily through the forests.  
Well, that's what he imagined he was doing. In actual fact, he was dashing from tree to tree like an oversized, chakra-wielding squirrel.

He wasn't a particularly good ninja-he only knew about five techniques. They happened to be techniques that made him a particularly good Seduction-Kunoichi.

He was a very weird, oversized chakra-wielding squirrel. Because he loved his job.  
But, he had temporarily left Konoha for a mission of his own devising.

He was headed to the Land of Sound.

More specifically, Otogakure.

More specifically, he was on a seduction mission.

More specifically, he wanted to see how good an extendable tongue was in bed.

* * *

Sasekomaru-which was a mouthful, his friends generally called him Sasmaru, or Slutboy, depending on how annoyed they were, and how honest they felt-had managed to infiltrate the building, using some skilful usage of the Shunshin technique, taught to him by his old teammate.

Flashing past the guards with a Kunai, he killed every one with that single move.

Who needed ninjutsu anyway?

Sasmaru ghosted inside, through one of the doors, and ran down the corridor. He managed to get a good way before seeing anything. The light of the doorway ran out, and it was pitch black for a good few minutes before there were any lights.

But then there were, and he continued on.  
Footsteps.

He stopped dead in his tracks. If he was caught, he'd die-probably in a horrible way.  
"Meisaigakure no Jutsu." whispered Sasmaru.

It was a risky gambit. He faded out of sight, light passing around him, camouflaging him against the wall. If they checked for chakra.

He held his breath as two ninja ran past.  
He waited a few moments after they flashed past.

And then breathed out deeply.

He continued running, briefly thinking about how he was going to find Orochimaru's room.  
Then realised, and giggled to himself.

The biggest, shiniest, flashiest one.

* * *

"Hello, Orochimaru-san!" said Sasmaru brightly.

The Sannin opened his eyes suddenly, seeing a pair of brown eyes looking directly into his, and brown hair hanging from the face they were set in.

The boy was hanging from the ceiling, a faint glow of chakra on his feet.  
"So…" he said. "Are you gay? I've always wondered…"

Orochimaru stared at him.

Weirdest assassination attempt ever. And… was that a Konoha headband, on his forehead?  
Of course. Only they cared THAT much, to actually keep trying.

He quietly formed a handsign under the cover.

"Shunshin." he said.  
He vanished, reappearing on the other side of the room. He reached into his mouth, drawing a long sword from it-the Kusanagi.

He settled into a combat stance. Then, as an afterthought, said.  
"And I am NOT gay."

"Fair enough." said Sasmaru. He dropped, flipping onto the bed. "How about this then? Shinsei Henge."

There was a puff of smoke.  
And Sasmaru was suddenly not a he anymore.  
He was a girl, with long, curling brown hair, and brown eyes. She was tall, and very, very shapely. She was also wearing very, very little. A bra that barely covered anything, and some panties that didn't have enough fabric to make a napkin. Oddly, the headband, and weapons pouch, remained.

Orochimaru stared. Blood rushed to his face.

Sasmaru-Well, Sasmi would be better-giggled.  
"I got Orochimaru to react!" she cheered. Her voice was much higher and more feminine like this.

Orochimaru shook his head.  
"No-one gets into my village and gets away with it." he said.  
He raised the sword, and began to charge.

Sasmi quickly drew a kunai and went to block it, and failed utterly. The Kusanagi cut through it as if it wasn't there. She only just dodged back to avoid dangerous injury. As it was, the sword cut slightly into her, drawing blood, and severing one of the straps on her bra.

It fell to the ground, and Orochimaru couldn't help but stare at the two very round breasts.

"Oh… please, Orochi-kun…" said Sasmi, using every talent she had ever learnt, wiggling her hips, using a soft, low voice. "Show me what you can do!"

Orochimaru looked for a second like he would, and then said.  
"You just want me to lower your guard." he said. "You're here for Konoha."  
"Nope, I'm here because I want to see how many techniques you've managed to get with interesting applications." she said cheerfully. "The Hokage would kill me if he knew I was here."

"Then what would you do, if I did _this_?" hissed Orochimaru, slashing his sword across Sasmi's headband, through the leaf. It was a symbolic act that would give Sasmi a very hard time when she returned to the village.

"Yeah…" she sighed. "Like they'd let me off this. Fraternising with the enemy without orders to, and not taking advantage of it… if I didn't get imprisoned or something, I'd be on D-ranks until we were on the eighteenth Hokage."

Orochimaru was shocked. maybe, just possibly, she was just interested… like they'd send anyone under Kage level to take him out. It would be a pointless waste, and insulting.

His Kasanagi whipped out, nicking her skin, and cutting the strap on her panties, before he threw the weapon aside.  
"I believe you." he told her. Her face lit up, and he pushed her down onto the bed.

His tongue left his mouth, licking around his lips, and he face was suddenly begging.

He smiled. He hadn't had anything in such a long time… this was going to be a night to remember.  
Maybe he'd let her… him… her… it go back to a boy for part of it. I mean, it was true, he wasn't gay. Mostly…

His tongue darted into her cunt, just the tip of it, and she gave a startled yelp.  
An odd noise, what was she, an Inuzuka?  
Again, this time slightly deeper, in for slightly longer.

A drawn out noise, a moan of pleasure.

The third time he went all out. The entire length of his tongue slipped inside of her, licking around, pushing at her from within.

Her moan changed to an uncontrolled panting, a scream that could be seen waiting in her face, but hadn't quite made it yet.

The snake lifted a hand, moving it over to the girl's breast, massaging it, squeezing the nipple gently.  
Her mouth opened, but no sound managed to get out.

Orochimaru squirmed his tongue around, twisting it, rubbing everything, as his other hand went up, and played with her other breast.

A whimper fought its way from her mouth.

Orochimaru smiled. His tongue left her, and she made a disappointed noise, that was almost a word.

He moved further up her, his tongue curling towards her breasts, licking at one, then at the other. His hand went down to her cunt, playing with her clit, and then pushing a finger into her.

She was suddenly breathless.

Orochimaru's mouth moved to one of her breasts, and he sucked on the nipple, while his tongue stretched over to lick at the other, and his fingers were pushing at the inside of her cunt.  
She gave a dissatisfied groan as he stopped, pulling himself upright. He spent a few seconds undressing, before giving a hiss, and throwing the clothes off with a pulse of chakra.

Sasmi stared at him. A specific part of him.

"Does that extend too?" she asked hopefully.  
"No more than usual." he said, with a grin. "Open up."

He sat on her chest, and pushed his cock through her breasts, pushing them together over it with his hands.  
She groaned, and he took advantage of her open mouth to kiss her, his tongue slipping deep inside of her. Sasmi's tongue tried to fight with it, but lost almost instantly, and he had free reign over her mouth, as he did the rest of her.

He ended the kiss, pushing his dick further, so its head slipped into her still open mouth.  
She licked at it, then began to suck it with a will.

Orochimaru smiled, pushing harder through her breasts, earning another squeal of happiness. He groaned a little himself. It had been far too long.

Soon enough, he stopped that as well, pulling away from her. She lifted her head to follow his cock, but he didn't allow her to.  
He stood up, and smiled.  
Before, finally, pushing himself into her cunt.  
At long last, she screamed with pleasure.

Nothing mattered, except him, and her.  
Soon enough, he came, his cum spurting inside of her. She came moments later, overcome by his extensive treatment.  
He sat beside her, murmuring into her ear.

"I really want to be able to trust you…" he said, his mouth brushing her neck. "Maybe this will help me do so…"  
He bit down, and three black marks, like the tomoe of the Sharingan, appeared upon her. She screamed, and he held her tight.  
"You'll make it." he said. "I will it to be so, and so it shall be."

* * *

Eveyone was staring at Orochimaru as he walked through his village. Normally they wouldn't dare, but… there was a spring in his step, a sparkle in the eyes, a lull in the killing intent that had cast its oppressive will over them all for years.

But they weren't just staring at him, but at the woman next to him. Tallish, with curly brown hair down to her shoulders, and slightly past. Deep brown eyes, and a smile that had nosebleeds breaking out along the corridor.  
Though they could have been because she was wearing nothing, other than a Missing-Leaf headband on her forehead, and a soft collar around her neck inscribed with the Oto note, attached to a string held by Orochimaru. Next to the collar were two seals, one on each side of her neck. One, the almost familiar curse mark, the other a stranger, different seal.

"Sorry, but it seems that isn't enough to trust you." he had said sadly to her, when she awoke from the forming of the cursed seal, jut before he created the second seal, and reduced her to this.

Of course, she very much enjoyed being 'reduced' like this, and happily told him so.  
"I'll trust you eventually." he said, before taking her out into the base.

And for the record, extendable tongues are VERY good in bed.

* * *

Shunshin-Body Flicker  
Meisaigakure no Jutsu-Hidden Camouflage Technique. (I think)  
Shinsei Henge-True Transformation

* * *

_Yup. Is self insert, why?  
I seem to have a problem with writing yaoi… I'll read it, hell, I'd probably take p[art in it, but writing it… eck. I'll try to put SOME in here. Eventually. Yes, this has PLOT. It's set in the same world as Tale of Three Kunoichi, so you know._


	2. Passing Time, Slashing Kunai

_I swear I will manage yaoi, if not this chapter, then next chapter._

_I AM MAKING A COMMAND DECISION.  
Orochimaru left the year after Kyuubi's attack, in this fic. FEE HAS SPOKEN._

_(Though would appreciate official time, maybe even change it)_

_Also: A note on Shinsei Henge. Readers of Three Kunoichi can ignore this.  
Shinsei Henge, rather than using a chakra shell to create an illusion, physically changes the body. This does not require a constant use of, and cannot be detected. However, it uses more chakra, and better control, to form. Also, if a Shinsei Henge is held for too long it will become the 'normal' state. If this is done twice, it will become irreversible by the normal method, and a second technique will be needed to counteract it. Normally, this would not be a problem, as they could simply use a second Shinsei Henge. However, it can be used to affect the users personality-sometimes even to teach themselves techniques-and if the user is trapped in the wrong personality permanently, it could be difficult to remind them who they are._

Chapter Two-Passing Time, Slashing Kunai

Sasmi quietly walked along the street. The security around here was laughable. Broad daylight, walking around with a Sound symbol on her neck.

It was a few years since she had joined Orochimaru, four to be exact. Three since Orochimaru trusted her as loyal. It was now the year 12, 12 AK, her henge long since irreversible.

She'd worked hard at Orochimaru. He now appreciated that maybe killing his own people was bad. Most of the time.

It was a _Start_.

But this country… no wonder it was such a mess. No ninja village to protect it from someone walking in and taking control.  
The Land of Waves needed help.

And, surprising as it was, Orochimaru was the one to give it.

Through Sasmi, of course. He was coming on well, but doing good deeds PERSONALLY was a way off.

But still. One of Sasmi's kunai had a name on it, the name of one man who had to die for the good of the country (And the aid of Orochimaru's reputation and master plan.)

The name of the Shipping Magnate, Gato.

* * *

It had only taken one kunai, thrown from the darkness outside his window. Feet on the wall, hang upside-down with chakra, bang.

And back towards Otogakure.

Chances are they'd never get credit for the kill...

The face of a ninja, ex-mist with bandages across his chin, saw her leave, and gave a crooked grin, before checking the now-dead Gato's room for money.

* * *

Sasmi walked through the new and improved sound village. It had been little more than an underground bunker, now it was worthy of the name 'village', acquiring shops and actual houses. The ninja were now staying partly out of choice.

Practically everyone she passed stared at her.  
Duh, she'd invented this body for the sole purpose of seduction, of course it was That good.

But today she didn't care what the ninja thought. She wanted to get to her Snakey-kun. Not that she'd dare say that when anyone could hear…

But she took deep pleasure in getting away with it otherwise.

* * *

"Snakey-kun!" cried Sasmi, throwing herself into the largest room.

One legendary ninja turned, and almost broke into a smile at the sight of her.  
"I'm glad you're back." he said. "I mis-…"

He broke off sheepishly.

Sasmi grinned. He'd always had trouble with showing affection… maybe it was why he dove into his studies. Maybe it was just he'd never had any to show, until the day Sasmi had come through the window and used every trick in the book. And then some.

"You know what I missed most?" asked Orochimaru, his voice a purr, suddenly standing behind her.  
"My soothing personality and revolutionary ideas?" she whispered back to him.  
"Your body." said Orochimaru, only partly lying as he cut through her clothes, and pounced on her.

* * *

It was always hard for a seduction-ninja to find love. Firstly, the problems that most people had with a partner whose job involved them having regular sex and hitting on people. But secondly, their sex drives were astounding.

Orochimaru could cope with both.

"You know…" said Orochimaru slowly. "I've forgotten what you looked like as a boy."  
"Is that an invitation?" asked Sasmi.  
"Yes. I'm bored."

"_I knew he was part gay._" thought Sasmi, grinning.

Sasmi formed the seals for Shinsei Henge, and a cloud of smoke rose up. When it fell, Sasmi was back to her original form-naked.

She-he- was very feminine, even as a male. Looking just at his face, he easily looked like a girl. A hot girl.

Orochimaru shrugged his clothes of, and motioned to Sasmi.  
Sasmi lowered his head, and licked at the Sannin, wrapping his tongue around his cock, licking and sucking at it, and then opening his mouth and taking it in. He continued this treatment for a good minute, until Orochimaru pulled away, and then knelt down himself.

The Sannin's tongue snaked out, wrapping around Sasmi's cock, tugging at it, licking it, rolling around it, causing Sasmi to convulse in shuddering pleasure.  
He didn't continue as long, but with the effect he was having he didn't need to. He stopped with a satisfied smirk, and said.  
"Turn around."

Sasmi obeyed, and Orochimaru plunged in.  
Sasmi gave a wordless cry of pain, and Orochimaru gripped him tightly, pushing in harder ad faster with each thrust, working himself up to a crescendo-one that arrived far too soon, for either of them.

* * *

"Snakey-kun…" murmured Sasmi, back in her female form, running her fingers through his hair.  
"Mmm?"  
"What was the big sign at the edge for? The one offering homes for missing nin..?"  
"What it sounds like. I figured that we can get a large force of well trained ninja with far reaching abilities, and do a good deed into the deal by giving them a second chance." said Orochimaru proudly.

Sasmi was silent for a moment.  
"Sasmi?"

The seduction-nin pounced on him.  
"That's the best idea you've ever had." she purred, kissing him.

* * *

"What are we doing next?" asked Sasmi, lying next to her master later that day.  
"Well, when I get my energy back…" said Orochimaru.  
"No, I mean outside of sex." said Sasmi with a grin.  
"Well…" said Orochimaru slowly. "The chunin exams begin soon… hopefully… I can find a new host."

Sasmi scowled.  
The stealing of bodies was not something she approved of, and she'd said so. But she wouldn't give up Orochimaru's life for it… so, until her plan had worked well enough to render the moral problems irrelevant, she hasd to cope with it.

"And?" she asked, sensing there was something else.  
"We're going to attack Konoha." said Orochimaru, looking away. "And I'm not changing that plan."

Orochimaru knew perfectly well that Sasmi was manipulating him. He just didn't see any danger in it. But this was his dream. He would crush Konoha, and slay that fool the third.

"I won't help, Snakey-kun." whispered Sasmi. "I'll wait for you on the borders, but… I won't fight my old friends."

Orochimaru grimaced.  
"I thought as much… very well." he said, sadly. "I'll be inside during the days…"  
"I'll wait for you." she said, sadly.

Some you win…

* * *

_Dundundun. She can brighten up some things, change some attitudes… but Konoha still faces the power of the Snake._


End file.
